Dr. MLK Jr. Weekend and My First Funeral (week 421)

There comes a time in every young man's life when his parents decide that the time is right to attend his first funeral.  Sometimes, the decision is forced on a kid by circumstance--a close family member passes away--but for parents that have a choice, the decision is often to avoid conversations and experiences that involve death as long as possible; or to just talk in general terms of heaven, and rainbows, and angels.  I mean, why introduce kids to something scary and unknown if we don't have to?  Let kids enjoy their childhood. 

Given that I tend to fixate on things--churches, stadiums, sports teams--my parents have been particularly concerned that I might drive myself and others crazy with questions about death.  But until we get some experience around death and loss, it is really hard for kids to appreciate the things that we have--friends, family, and fleeting moments of joy. 

This past week, a good friend of my dad's passed away.  He sounded like a really good guy--military service, took care of his family--and he was really close to his only son of the same name.  At first, when my dad said that we were going to the funeral on Saturday afternoon I was a little nervous about it.  I had never seen a dead person and was afraid of what to expect.  In the end, it was an incredible church, there were stories that made us laugh and cry, and I realized that someday I too would be giving telling stories about my own dad when he dies. Chris was there too but he didn't really know what was going on and did not see the body.  At the end of the memorial service, he asked "someone died?"

The experience ended up being a really good one for our entire family.  In fact, I think it was something of a turning point.  As I discussed the fact that my grandparents and parents would someday die, I realized that I need to be more thankful for the time I have with them. I need to put down the iPad when they walk in the door and to give them hugs and kisses when they leave.  Thankfully, our family has not experienced tragedy or illness.  But on the other hand, Chris and I have taken a lot of our blessings for granted.  Contemplating death can actually enrich life. 

Although I was terrified about going to bed that night, I made it through a few bad dreams and was ready for the next day of basketball, church, golf, tennis at the gym, and of course the Seattle Seahawks vs. Packers NFC Championship game.  We had a busy week and a very busy weekend that included marching in the Dr. MLK Jr. Peace Parade with the Police Department, carnival rides, In-n-Out, a visit from Matt and Sara Holmes, and my first funeral.  Although my parents have been trying to protect me from worries about death, we found out that they may have just been protecting me from truly appreciating the things that I have--my friends, family, and fun.